Falling Down {Raine}

[amber hall]

Amber truly didn't know what to do anymore. Well she had a slight idea of what to do but she didn't know how Raine was going to take it. They haven't spoken in a while ever since Raine had broken up with her to be exact and well she was getting slightly worried about him. Even if she had respected his reasons for leaving her she at least thought that he should have a part in the baby's life. Even if it wasn't the fathering role he could still be an important role in the child's life he truly wanted to. After thinking for a couple of moments Amber just took out her cell and quickly texted Raine letting him know to meet her at the food court in the mall.

Once sending it Amber stepped out of her RV and headed through the crowded streets of New York in the direction of the mall. She had to push and shove her way on over to the mall but once she was there she entered it. While waiting for Raine to arrive Amber had picked up a new camera and microphone from a store before she headed on over to the food court. Sitting down at one of the tables she sat her bags on the ground before she took out her cell and flipped it open to check the time.

She could only guess that Raine was trying to sleep by now since it was normally the time he tried to sleep with his nightmares effecting him. Shaking her head Amber just shut her cell phone before she took out her digital camera and began to look at the pictures she had taken from the tour so far.

[raine embry jackson]

[/b][/color] he whispered, scrambling out of the sheets, fishing his clothes off the ground quickly and dragging them on. He ended up falling over when he tried to balance on one leg to put his shoes on. How the hell had he ended up here? He finished tugging on his clothes and rummaged around for his phone, once he’d found it, along with his keys, he dashed out of the hotel room as fast as he could before the girl had woken up.

Christ, he must’ve gotten smashed last night. Oh no wonder he’d had horrific dreams last night. The boy shook his head and picked up his pace, heading down the stairs and down towards the car park. First of all, he didn’t know the girls name, second, he wasn’t sure how he got there, three… he better have fucking used protection. The last time he forgot to he… well, knocked up the girl he had been dating. Amber. He shivered and jogged over to his car as he reached the car park, unlocking it and getting into it quickly. Raine let out a sigh of relief and slumped down into the driver’s seat, slamming his hands against the steering wheel in frustration. He’d done it again! Not that he didn’t mind the sex part, but getting drunk enough to forget was what he hated.

Raine pulled out his phone as it vibrated in his pocket, tugging it out of his jeans before letting a sigh leave his lips. Speak of the devil. He unlocked his phone and read the text, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated what to do. Raine stared at his phone for a good 2 minutes solid before letting out the breath he had taken in. Should he or should he not? That was seriously the question here. He chewed on his lip rings before typing in a slow reply which read ‘Fine, see you there.’ Jesus Christ, what was he getting himself into now? What did she want? The boy turned the key in the ignition before revving it, heading out of the car park and onto the road in the direction of the mall. She wasn’t going to try and kill him… was she? He hadn’t exactly been the nicest too her when he found out she was pregnant. Hell, he completely bailed without looking back. Damn, why didn’t he just date guys instead of girls? Instead of doing both, he’d use girls for sex and have a relationship with a guy. Yeah, that sounded fine. No chances of getting any kids now… hopefully.

Raine pulled into a parking space out the front of the mall, turning the engine off and getting out. Awh man. He could’ve easily just backed out right now and not show up. Never again. He’d hide away in his tour bus for how ever long it took for her to find someone who would be suited to be the kid’s father. Raine groaned and locked his car, trudging off towards the front doors. Raine frowned when he noticed how crowded the place was, cursing to himself as he was nudged a few times in the shoulder, and then in the back which sent him stumbling forward. ”Why do people have to be so obese these days?” Raine growled to himself, finally making his way through the crowd. All he had to do was head to the food court and look for pink hair… well that wasn’t hard, he spotted her straight away. Raine came to a stop when he saw her from behind, his insides felt as though they were sinking. Bail, just do it Raine. You don’t have to face this, that little nagging voice in the back of his head was beginning to annoy him. But it was making a point.

With a sigh, he swallowed down the urge to run for it and walked over towards her, stopping when he came up behind her. ”Uhm… hey, Amber,” he murmured, loud enough for her to hear him. He rubbed his neck with the back of his hand before sighing and shoving his hands into his pockets. He wasn’t going to sit down unless he knew she wasn’t going to chuck a bitch fit at him for leaving her. Oh man, this wasn’t the best idea for him.[/ul]

TAG:: Amber
WORDS:: 784
OUTFIT:: clickety
NOTES::rawrz

[/size]

[amber hall]

Amber was still looking through her photos on her digital camera still wondering if Raine was every going to show up. It she was him she wouldn't have showed up. Though it wasn't like she was going to force him to be the kid's father. Amber had understood the reasons that he had given her for leaving and well she didn't want him to start feeling like she didn't respect his wishes. That wasn't the reason why she had wanted to see him. She was looking down at a photo of a Drunk Dialling gig on her camera when she heard the sound of Raine's voice from behind making her jump slightly.

Slowly she just turned around slightly so she could face him as a soft smile formed gently on her lips. "Hey Raine it's good to see you again I'm glad you showed up" she spoke softly on over to him. Now of course she wasn't going to throw a bitch fight on over in his direction. She couldn't be a bitch to him ever. Though she still did want Raine to have some part in the child's life even if he was the child's god-father. Raine did have a right to the child's life since it was his child as well.

Amber just set her camera down before she patted the chair beside her so he could sit down. "Don't worry I'm not going to be a bitch to you promise" she reassured him softly. "I just want to talk to you normally and don't worry about giving reasons for your decision I understand your reasons completely so don't feel bad alright it's not your fault" she spoke to him softly. At the same time of talking to him Amber was just trying to calm him down. She thought it would be a good idea to try to calm him down just in case if he was scared or frightened. Amber didn't want him scared around her it just wasn't right.

[raine embry jackson]

[/b][/color] more like a few months. He looked back down at her, flashing her a small smile before looking down at his shoes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Raine looked at the seat Amber had patted next to her, biting down harshly onto his lower lip as he pulled it out and sat down into it hesitantly. He gave a weak laugh at her words as he looked around with almost bloodshot eyes, he felt like absolute shit right now, and he probably looked it as well. Waking up with a random girl was the best way to start a day… not. ”You sure… I probably deserve to be yelled at,” Raine muttered, resting his elbows onto the table before resting his forehead into his hands. He let out a long sigh before glancing up at the girl, studying her long and hard. ”It’s weird… cause you know how they say pregnant people glow? You’ve got that sort of… aura around you.” Raine commented, yawning widely before resting his head onto the table, his arms falling down into his lap.

He frowned and rolled his head to the side to look at her, an eyebrow raised. How was this not his fault? He’d been the idiot who didn’t wear protection, he’d been the idiot who was too drunk to remember to put the protection on. And this was the consequence he got. See! God was punishing him. First with the paranoia and night terrors, now he’s going to have a kid running around who looks like him. Ugh, this was way too much for someone his age. ”Not my fault? Amber, I was drunk. We were both drunk; I forgot to put fucking protection on! It is my fault you accidentally got pregnant,” Raine said, his voice remaining calm when he spoke. He sighed and lifted his head off the table, realising how much bacteria could be on it. Ew, gross. ”I’m sorry, okay? But I’m just not… fit to be a father. I’ve got problems, major problems. I’m not able to sleep for more than 20 minutes a night without waking up in absolute agony. I flip out randomly into paranoid fits when I haven’t had my caffeine hit or someone makes me mad. I only left you because I didn’t want to be a bad influence on our kid… I-I don’t want to hurt you or the baby,” his words were coming out a lot more rushed than he’d wanted, but he bit down onto his finger just enough so that his canine tooth dug into his flesh. ”I don’t want to put you in danger, Amber…” he whispered, looking up at her with pained eyes.[/ul]

TAG:: Amber
WORDS:: 550
OUTFIT:: clickety
NOTES::rawrz

[/size]

[amber hall]

Amber just stayed silent as she listened to the words that were coming out of Raine's lips. Just listening to him explain to her why he wasn't fit to be a fathering figure to their child it almost made her feel like she was about to break down in tears for him. She did feel sorry for him and couldn't help but feel like she needed to find a way to help him. Even if they weren't a couple any longer they still could be friends couldn't they? Of course they could well at least in her own eyes they could. "Raine, Raine listen to me okay I understand and I'm not going to force you to be our child's fathering figure if you don't see yourself fit to be one that wasn't the reason why I wanted you to come meet me here" she told him softly. Just watching him though she felt like she needed to do something to help him. "He does look like in a ton of pain" Amber just thought silently to herself. Shaking her head she just continued to watch him. "Here just try to calm yourself down and stay here for a bit alright I'll be right back" she spoke softly to him.

With that she stood up from her seat and grabbed her purse. Making her way over to the closet coffee shop Amber just bought a large coffee and payed the person behind the counter for it. Bringing it back on over to the table she placed it right in front of Raine. "Here drink up everything is going to be alright I promise" she reassured him softly as she took her seat again. As she heard him talking about putting her not in danger Amber just shook her head. "Raine you don't need to think about that alright" she told him softly and truthfully.

She then began to think about how to word the true reason of why she had wanted him to meet her today. "Raine you have to understand though I know you feel like your not fit to be a fathering figure and well um I was thinking once this child is born they would never know your its true father but if you want I was thinking you could be its god-father" she suggested calmly to him. Amber had always wanted him to have a part in the child's life even if he wasn't the father of it the god-father role was a pretty important role and she only trusted Raine with that role.

[raine embry jackson]

[/b][/color] he muttered, sighing into his hands before he looked back at her. ”So I apologise in advance if my temper runs itself short,” he whispered before nodding lightly when she said to stay there, resting his head onto the table as she got up and left.

Who knew this kind of thing would be so damn hard? If he’d just stuck to seeing men… maybe he wouldn’t have been in this situation right now. A frown found its way to the boys lips as he bit down on his lower lip, watching a family nearby at a table. What happened if this kid had his problems? If they got his paranoia… or his night terrors wait, what if he got worse? Raine let out a small moan and looked away, sitting upright as Amber came back with a coffee in hand. He mouthed ‘thanks’ to her and took it in his shaking hands, lifting it to his lips and taking a big gulp of it. Oh how good it felt to have something warm in your system. ”But I can’t help it… it’s always going to be there, Amber. Even you know that,” he said lightly, placing the cup down in front of him before wrapping both hands around it, trying to collect it’s warmth.

Raine stared at the coffee before him as Amber spoke, chewing viciously on his bottom lip. God-father? He looked up at her and frowned, raising an eyebrow lightly, ”And what exactly is a god-father?” he asked quietly, taking another sip from his coffee before sighing into it. He brought the drink down from his lips and placed it back onto the table, tapping his fingers gently against the side. Raine looked up at her sheepishly before swallowing, ”Amber… what happens if the kid is like… me. I mean like… it gets fucked up in the head like I am…” he whispered, eyes flickering downwards to his cup before back up to meet her eyes. It was a weird way to put it, but it put his worries out on the table.[/ul]

TAG:: Amber
WORDS:: 486
OUTFIT:: clickety
NOTES::rawrz

[/size]

[amber hall]

Amber just stayed silent as she watched Raine drink his coffee. It seemed that the coffee was helping him out slightly which was a good thing. She hated seeing Raine in pain it just wasn't right in her eyes. Raine shouldn't be the one that should be put through all this stuff. He was a nice kid who was popular and who had a lot of friends including his band mates those were the type of people that shouldn't be put through something like this. At what he said Amber just lightly nodded her head. "I know its always going to be there Raine but maybe there's a way we can make it come and bother you less" she suggested calmly to him. Now she wasn't a doctor but there was no way she was going to allow him to go through all of this alone. Even if he had gone through it alone most of his life right now he had friends who wanted to help him through it all.

Looking down to the table Amber just slowly glanced back up to Raine as he asked what a god-father was. "A god-father is a male that would look after a person's child if the mother or father was well for example killed then you would be the guardian to our child" she told Raine simply. A small sigh escaped from her lips. "Our child will never need to know that your its true father but I still want you to be part of its life Raine I still want our child to have a place in its heart for you" she told him softly. As she heard his whisper a small sigh escaped her lips. She knew he was going to worry about that and to be honest she didn't exactly know what to say to it.

There might be a chance that their child would be like Raine. "For one your not fucked up in the head Raine so just throw that idea out of the window" she started softly. She didn't want him to feel so negative about himself. It wasn't like he was mental enough to be thrown into a crazy house. Once he looked back up to her Amber just stared directly into his perfect eyes. "Raine I know you don't want to hear this from me but I have to put it out on the table there might be a chance that the child does turn out like you but truth be told I would never wanted to change anything that has happened between us and I know deep down this kid will always love you no matter what" she reassured him softly before she slowly reached over and gently took a hold of one of his hands rubbing her thumb gently over it just trying to calm and relax him.